No Words.

I wish someone was here to walk me through what to do because I fell lost. Like i just don’t what to do. I’m lost. I dk. I do think i show go to bed. but it feels like I don’t know how to.

I seriosuly just laid my head down on the bathroom counter

and it felt amazing.

This is not a confession so please don’t think I’m idiot just in case it really is a confession.

Ughh.

Not looking forward to going to talk to him. I’m kind of afraid of what might happen or what I might find.

On I brighter note, I’ve lost 12 lbs!

There were a few people that have helped me work up the courage to do what I needed.

I want to thank:

just-toby

ononesideofanampersand

lefoxdenoir

For offering insight and even just someone to vent to. You probably don’t even remember helping me, but I do.

I want to thank my nice anon for telling the truth. It was right in front of my eyes but I couldn’t see it. You could. Thank you.

And I especially want to thank:

emptylungsblindeyes

radicalhumanist

aidenalexander87

You three have been there for me more than anyone ever has. I sincerely appreciate it. You really have no idea what it means to me. Kai, you helped me realize things were wrong. Aiden, you showed me that I wasn’t happy and that I could be. Plus you just are really fun to talk to. Daniel, when shit hit the fan you were the first person to ask me if I was okay. You were there for me.

You guys are the coolest people I’ve met. Wayyyy better than my so called friends back home. You know more about me. When I’m up in Jersey, it will totally be awesome to see you Aiden and do somethings we said we would. If I start traveling around I know I’ll hit up Virginia and hang out with you Kai. I doubt I will be going to Ireland the next seven months so someday I’ll have to hit up Buffalo to see you Dani.

Just wanted to say thanks. It means a lot.

My stomach is in a lot of for some reason. Someone is messing with my hormones. And tomorrow I have to meet with Ky. I need him to get out of the house so I can get the shit out and all adult shit he never dealt with.

We still owe 300 in rent. Ky said that when he got paid tomorrow he would pay the rest of rent while I paid the bills that were left. I’m pretty sure he won’t. I have to figure out how I’m going to pay the bills, rest of rent, give the landlord even money to cover the damages for Rabbit, and still have enough money to get to Jersey and then where I please after that.

In a perfect world, Ky would pay his part, get his shit packed, along with the dogs and Rabbit and leave Friday. I would then be able to get there and start selling shit and getting the place cleaned up. I need this all down by the first. I can’t do anything without him gone.

If he refuses to leave…well, he isn’t even on the lease. Plus I’ll just have everything shut off. Everything is in my name, including his car. I’m signing it back over to him, the problem is that Colorado state law requires I take the plates. So he is going to be driving around without insurance or plates. And honestly he isn’t too bright to figure out what to do to fix that.

I’m just glad I finally did it.

I’m going to post a second post thanking some people.